You heard me...it's vacation week! After a whirlwind past couple of weeks at the office, I feel that I deserve this break even more! What a mess it has been, and I couldn't be happier to sneak away at the most perfect time. Riviera Maya here we come!
Contrary to the norm here on the lil ol' blog, I will be taking TONS of pics to share with you. {ok, now that that's out I have to live up to it, right?} I also wanted to share with you these randoms before I left:
1. Babe has had a major growth spurt this week. Or mother has...probably both. I just knew I would explode right before my last week in a two piece--karma.
2. Getsharepod.com is the best thing since sliced bread. Seriously. Upon packing, I found Hubby's ipod no longer works...and my ipod is no where to be found. So-I bought a new 8 GB nano. Nothing extravagant, but it will work for what I need. Problem is, I haven't downloaded new songs to my computer since it crashed in 2009 and I lost EVERYTHING. All 2 straight weeks worth of tunes. That's a lot of pirated music there {thanks college}. I cried. So what's a girl to do with a new ipod, and no tunes? Hijack Hubby's old tunes {even though the headphone jack isn't working} using Getsharepod.com. Just download the free software and it will take the songs off any ipod and put them in your itunes so you can transfer them to another ipod. MAGIC! Don't ask me how tempted I am to "borrow" friends' ipods now and load up on all their songs...
3. BeMaternity Leggings. As The Forest{e} Grows posted about these puppies on her blog the other day {she is soo stinkin cute!} and I had to go out and get them right away. Verdict: AMAZING! I got the over the belly ones and they are so soft. I may never wear regular leggings again!
That's all I got for now! Sayonara lovlies!
January 27, 2012
January 24, 2012
14/15 weeks
How far along? 15 weeks!
{I really need to get Ross to help me with this self-portrait business...yiiiiikes}
Total weight gain: From the Drs appointment on 1/20: +3lbs. As of today, 1/24 I'm pretty sure that # is more like +4. Not bad! The NP was happy with that, which made me even happier!
Maternity clothes? Not yet. I did purchase some things for Mexico, but haven't worn anything yet other than the belly band {not everyday} and my "fat" dress pants that are a size bigger than normal. I did have someone comment at my madre's birthday party that she could definately see "the bump." That was nice, however I feel like most of this babe weight has settled in my arse. The last thing I need is more badonkadonk. I'm so ready to be past this "too many tacos" stage!
Sleep: like a baby lately, it's pretty awesome!
Best moment this week: I've been at war with a nasty cold all week, so I was relieved to hear the little rascal's heart pumping away at 156 bpm at our appoinment on 1/20. We scheduled the next visit for 2/14, as well as the anatomy scan where we find out if Baby S is a boy or girl! I can hardly wait, the NP was a brat and won't schedule it before 20 weeks, so we don't go until 2/29...at 21 weeks! Who schedules that kind of thing on LEAP YEAR? It's not even a real day! That's SO far away.
Miss Anything? We went to a chili cookoff at a local vineyard this past weekend, where I had just a taste of wine...but it made me really, really miss the days of guzzling down more than 2 ounces of those yummy dry reds in one sitting.
Movement: Nothing quite yet. NP did say that I should feel something soon...maybe while on vacation?! I could have sworn I felt flutters the other night after zumba...but it was just gas :( lots and lots of gas :(
As of 1/25 I'm almost positive I felt him/her! I scarfed half a bag of kettle chips on the way home from work tonight, followed by a cold bottle of water and felt this little "pop pop pop" on the lower right side of my abdomen. At first I thought it was the road, but it happened again after supper (and was not followed by gas!) Do you think that could be it? What is it supposed to feel like?
Food cravings: Babe certainly lets me know when s/he's hungry...which is all the time. I was driving home from work the other night and decided that I was for sure going to die if I didn't stop at BK for a spicy chicken crisp + extra pickles and a small fry {as long as they were piping hot}. Then I got home and of course Ross needed to be fed, so I had a grilled cheese on top of that. I still don't know where all this food is going, though I'm not complaining!
Anything making you queasy or sick: Not anymore! I can even eat a {little bit of}chicken now! It's amazing as long as I'm careful not to over-do it.
Gender: We find out 2/29. I am dying, that's too far away. Roseann, my friend at work, says she's always been pretty accurate. She thinks "boy". I don't know what to think, at first I was dead-set on girl. Any guesses? I can't wait to get started on the nursery!
Labor Signs: Goodness no!
Symptoms: Beside the nasty upper respiratory infection I've got going on, not much. I'm feeling pretty awesome, and so grateful that the "second-worst" part is over!
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On and loose!
Happy or Moody most of the time: HAPPY!
Looking forward to: Mexico! We leave 1/30 and I can't.freaking.wait. I may never come back.
January 19, 2012
DEALS Galore! & $2 for 2 years of Fitness magazine!
I love saving money. Coupons, perks, deal sites...you name it. Click on the links below to check out some of my faves. From mommy-baby stuff to glitz and glam, they are the "daily deal" type sites I most love. Membership is free, and with all the deals they offer, you can often get free shipping too.
1. The Foundary: http://www.thefoundary.com/invite/meyerg. This is not the typical mom-deal site...for instance, today they're offering a Kegorator. Who doesn't need one of those!?! Other steals today are Timex watches and this beauty:
2. Zuilily: http://www.zulily.com/invite/gschutter249 Shipping is FREE today and they have 75% off designer sunglasses!
3. Totsy: http://www.totsy.com/join/gmschutter Last week I purchased TWO pairs of flip flops from Totsy for $10! Love!
4. HauteLook: http://www.hautelook.com/short/3BaYC For the style mavens. Love their cheap makeup and accessories.
5. Plum District: https://www.plumdistrict.com/?ref=ufde5f840226
This one gives you $5 free when you sign up with me! Use that on this deal and you can get 2 years of Fitness magazine for $2!
I check these sites religously...like everyday. I can't help myself. Everyday there's something new! I have a feeling it's going to get much worse once we find out if we're having a boy or girl!
Other couponsy things I love:
For Michigan Coupon-ers: http://www.savingaddiction.com/
These girls list all the best deals in town. From Family Fare to CVS, Walgreens & Target they will show you how to score! I shop mainly at Meijer, so I love their customized printable shopping lists!
Meijer Digital Coupons: No more coupon clipping! Use your phone number and a PIN at the checkout, and virtually save every trip! https://www2.meijer.com/Mperks/Welcome.aspx?ReturnUrl=%2fmperks%2fjqCouponMain.aspx%3fpage%3d2%26s%3d1%26d%3dALL%26ao%3dundefined&page=2&s=1&d=ALL&ao=undefined
I know there's a lot of sites out there that let you print your own coupons, but we don't have the internet at our house {YIKES! How do I live, I know!}so I rely on the old fashion clip & organize method. It's not all that bad!
1. The Foundary: http://www.thefoundary.com/invite/meyerg. This is not the typical mom-deal site...for instance, today they're offering a Kegorator. Who doesn't need one of those!?! Other steals today are Timex watches and this beauty:
Wouldn't it amaze in a craft room? {Now, if only I had a craft room...}
2. Zuilily: http://www.zulily.com/invite/gschutter249 Shipping is FREE today and they have 75% off designer sunglasses!
3. Totsy: http://www.totsy.com/join/gmschutter Last week I purchased TWO pairs of flip flops from Totsy for $10! Love!
4. HauteLook: http://www.hautelook.com/short/3BaYC For the style mavens. Love their cheap makeup and accessories.
5. Plum District: https://www.plumdistrict.com/?ref=ufde5f840226
This one gives you $5 free when you sign up with me! Use that on this deal and you can get 2 years of Fitness magazine for $2!
I check these sites religously...like everyday. I can't help myself. Everyday there's something new! I have a feeling it's going to get much worse once we find out if we're having a boy or girl!
Other couponsy things I love:
For Michigan Coupon-ers: http://www.savingaddiction.com/
These girls list all the best deals in town. From Family Fare to CVS, Walgreens & Target they will show you how to score! I shop mainly at Meijer, so I love their customized printable shopping lists!
Meijer Digital Coupons: No more coupon clipping! Use your phone number and a PIN at the checkout, and virtually save every trip! https://www2.meijer.com/Mperks/Welcome.aspx?ReturnUrl=%2fmperks%2fjqCouponMain.aspx%3fpage%3d2%26s%3d1%26d%3dALL%26ao%3dundefined&page=2&s=1&d=ALL&ao=undefined
I know there's a lot of sites out there that let you print your own coupons, but we don't have the internet at our house {YIKES! How do I live, I know!}so I rely on the old fashion clip & organize method. It's not all that bad!
January 17, 2012
Bachelor Recap III
Holy balls! Bachelor never fails to provide solid entertainment, ya know? They basically show us everything that happens on the previews...yet we loyal airheads followers continue to tune in week after week. Hubs does me one better: he sets the DVR and we go about our usual business until about 8:30. Then we sit down to watch the debauchery unfold with no commercial interruptions. Alas, the American Dream. What did we do before DVR? I can barely remember what I did before Dish, and that was only 2 years ago.
1. Let's start off with the elephant in the room: Shawntell. Girl has balls, but girl has been spending too much time in the morgue to have her head on straight. I mean come on, you go from kissing Brad to wanting to date a sloppy haired, sweaty Ben? Really? I really wish Ben would have given her a rose though, just so that Courtney girl would leave. And, I don't mind Shawntell...she's not one to get pushed around easily. Also, what's this about the girls complaining it's not fair to bring her back? Nothing is fair hunny; life, love, war, nothing. You get what you deserve {work for} and that's about it.
2. I'm not surprised or sad about Brittney leaving. Ben even said it was a pity date, so there it's done. Wish more of these hoes would jump ship and let us cut to the good stuff....you know, the island dates where Bachelor Ben tries to bed all the girls by giving them keys to his suite. Juicy!
3. I know Kacie B is leaving next week. Just a gut feeling. My new #1 is Emily. Those faces she made at Courtney during the cocktail party were hilarious. She also seems the most normal. Like we could be friends in real life. I used to like Nicki too, but after all those tears last night, I'm not too sure. Lindzi's face/makeup bothers me, and her date was less than thrilling {who wants to be a "backup" date?}. That speakeasy was sweet though.
4. So glad Jaclyn & Erica are out. Jaclyn is weird looking and Erika is crazy. How can she make it through a lip tattoo twice, but not be able to stand through a rose ceremony? Then she acted like nothing happened when he left her in the lobby. Strange. Now we just need to get that little girl, {what's her name, Samantha?} off.
5. Where's the Monica-action? Girl came out like a lion and now she's keeping a low profile. My bet is she's the one who hooks up with one of the producers and gets asked to leave. Either her or Blakeley.
6. Somebody should set Jennifer's suitcase on fire. I don't know if my eyeballs can handle another pink-red outfit. Not with that hair.
7. Papi had to rewind the DVR twice during Elyse's "WHO IS SHE?!" He was dying. He thinks she is a man. He also doesn't like Rachel {which I don't understand} and Jaime {duh}. Who wears a prom dress to opening night, and rhinestones to the cocktail parties? Shoulda dropped the extra couple hundos for something other than your old arsenal of homecoming dresses girlfraann.
That's all I have for you darlings. See you in Utah!
1. Let's start off with the elephant in the room: Shawntell. Girl has balls, but girl has been spending too much time in the morgue to have her head on straight. I mean come on, you go from kissing Brad to wanting to date a sloppy haired, sweaty Ben? Really? I really wish Ben would have given her a rose though, just so that Courtney girl would leave. And, I don't mind Shawntell...she's not one to get pushed around easily. Also, what's this about the girls complaining it's not fair to bring her back? Nothing is fair hunny; life, love, war, nothing. You get what you deserve {work for} and that's about it.
2. I'm not surprised or sad about Brittney leaving. Ben even said it was a pity date, so there it's done. Wish more of these hoes would jump ship and let us cut to the good stuff....you know, the island dates where Bachelor Ben tries to bed all the girls by giving them keys to his suite. Juicy!
3. I know Kacie B is leaving next week. Just a gut feeling. My new #1 is Emily. Those faces she made at Courtney during the cocktail party were hilarious. She also seems the most normal. Like we could be friends in real life. I used to like Nicki too, but after all those tears last night, I'm not too sure. Lindzi's face/makeup bothers me, and her date was less than thrilling {who wants to be a "backup" date?}. That speakeasy was sweet though.
4. So glad Jaclyn & Erica are out. Jaclyn is weird looking and Erika is crazy. How can she make it through a lip tattoo twice, but not be able to stand through a rose ceremony? Then she acted like nothing happened when he left her in the lobby. Strange. Now we just need to get that little girl, {what's her name, Samantha?} off.
5. Where's the Monica-action? Girl came out like a lion and now she's keeping a low profile. My bet is she's the one who hooks up with one of the producers and gets asked to leave. Either her or Blakeley.
6. Somebody should set Jennifer's suitcase on fire. I don't know if my eyeballs can handle another pink-red outfit. Not with that hair.
7. Papi had to rewind the DVR twice during Elyse's "WHO IS SHE?!" He was dying. He thinks she is a man. He also doesn't like Rachel {which I don't understand} and Jaime {duh}. Who wears a prom dress to opening night, and rhinestones to the cocktail parties? Shoulda dropped the extra couple hundos for something other than your old arsenal of homecoming dresses girlfraann.
That's all I have for you darlings. See you in Utah!
January 10, 2012
Blakeley is fake-ley...and the majority of the other girls are just plain fugly. {subtitled: Bachelor Recap}
That title pretty much sums it all up right there.
However, if I left it at the title, this post would suck. Thing is, I really don't have much to say about this episode besides the following:
1. Courtney is a greatactress fake, but I'm not sure how she got to become a model with that lip and those weird legs. They're not even that skinny. Kacie B has much better gams.
2. I may or may not have a small girl crush on Kacie B. Sure, the batton thing was gay, but she is adorable and genuine as they come. "Blakeley is toxic."
3. Whoever that other girl (no, not Jenna) that was eliminated is needs to get her hair fixed quick. Hunny, that two-toned skunk look is no longer "in". Somebody get her a Von-Dutch trucker hat and cover that shit up.
4. I don't even want to go there about Jenna or Blakeley.
What's really more interesting is what husband said {out loud} during the show last night. I was dying, he really got into it! And since it's much more interesting than myself giving you a play-by-play when you saw the damage unfold with your own eyes....I give you Ross's version of the Bachelor Recap in an array of my favorite quotes from him last night:
"I should go on this show and counsel all the losers and tell them what they did wrong." What, why? "I think I could help them. They are all so insecure."
"Wait, how OLD is that girl and she's not married?" {talking about Blakeley, 34} "No wonder."
"Holy tits." {Blakeley} "Not in front of the kids!"
"Everybody on this show is old and ugly. And they all wear so much makeup it looks bad with those lights."
{Looking at the alarm clock when Ben went to drag Jenna out of bed} "No wonder she's in bed, it's 2 am and they've been boozing since noon!"
{talking about Courtney} "How is SHE a model? Yikes! And what is wrong with her lips?"
"He should totally pick her. She's a good girl. I would pick her." {see, hubs and I even share the same taste with women...talking about Kacie B}.
"I don't like her. Or her. I like her, that girl in blue. That's a nice dress." {talking about Brittany....what the! Ross?!}
"Who do you think feeds them when they're not on dates? Like, do they have to buy groceries themselves? How does the house get food, and who makes it for them?"
"Is that the lesbian? Why is she on a show about finding a husband?"
Isn't he just darling? What a good guy...all snuggled up with his wifey on the couch in front of the fire. Who needs girl friends? {ok, that's stretching it} But, he brings me water, and popcorn, and ice cream...and doesn't bat an eyelash when I spend two hours glued to the boob tube on Mondays. Love him!
However, if I left it at the title, this post would suck. Thing is, I really don't have much to say about this episode besides the following:
1. Courtney is a great
2. I may or may not have a small girl crush on Kacie B. Sure, the batton thing was gay, but she is adorable and genuine as they come. "Blakeley is toxic."
3. Whoever that other girl (no, not Jenna) that was eliminated is needs to get her hair fixed quick. Hunny, that two-toned skunk look is no longer "in". Somebody get her a Von-Dutch trucker hat and cover that shit up.
4. I don't even want to go there about Jenna or Blakeley.
What's really more interesting is what husband said {out loud} during the show last night. I was dying, he really got into it! And since it's much more interesting than myself giving you a play-by-play when you saw the damage unfold with your own eyes....I give you Ross's version of the Bachelor Recap in an array of my favorite quotes from him last night:
"I should go on this show and counsel all the losers and tell them what they did wrong." What, why? "I think I could help them. They are all so insecure."
"Wait, how OLD is that girl and she's not married?" {talking about Blakeley, 34} "No wonder."
"Holy tits." {Blakeley} "Not in front of the kids!"
"Everybody on this show is old and ugly. And they all wear so much makeup it looks bad with those lights."
{Looking at the alarm clock when Ben went to drag Jenna out of bed} "No wonder she's in bed, it's 2 am and they've been boozing since noon!"
{talking about Courtney} "How is SHE a model? Yikes! And what is wrong with her lips?"
"He should totally pick her. She's a good girl. I would pick her." {see, hubs and I even share the same taste with women...talking about Kacie B}.
"I don't like her. Or her. I like her, that girl in blue. That's a nice dress." {talking about Brittany....what the! Ross?!}
"Who do you think feeds them when they're not on dates? Like, do they have to buy groceries themselves? How does the house get food, and who makes it for them?"
"Is that the lesbian? Why is she on a show about finding a husband?"
Isn't he just darling? What a good guy...all snuggled up with his wifey on the couch in front of the fire. Who needs girl friends? {ok, that's stretching it} But, he brings me water, and popcorn, and ice cream...and doesn't bat an eyelash when I spend two hours glued to the boob tube on Mondays. Love him!
January 09, 2012
12/13 weeks
How far along? 13 week
Total weight gain: +2 to 3lbs total (wahoo! It seems to come & go everyday...but it just won't stick. I was getting worried there for a while, but I guess it's normal for a first pregnancy). Seems I opened my big mouth too soon last week.
Maternity clothes? ugh, yes! my mother has been dying to take me shopping, and i'm going to need some new swag for when i go here in 3 weeks...so, we made a trip to motherhood maternity where i purchased the beloved tummy sleeve. this is the best thing i've ever bought in my life! i also couldn't pass up a pair of $9 army green cargo capris from Kohl's and 2 {adorable} maxi skirts from Express. I figure elastic waistband is the way to go on vacation. Ya know, since I'm going for that, "effortlessly gorgeous while pregnant" look. Stretch marks? nope
Sleep: getting better
Best moment this week: the belly band or tummy sleeve, or whatever the hell it is. lord knows i don't even need it yet, but it's so comfortable folded down over my jeans, work pants, etc.
Miss Anything? Abs. Ok, what I used to call my "abs".
Movement: no
Food cravings: Fruit, chocolate, cheese, tortilla chips, mashed potatoes, some veggies. ALL meats kinda gross me out this week.
Anything making you queasy or sick: damn that chicken. there was an incredible sale on boneless, skinless breasts this week at Meijer, so i did buy a bag. i'm hoping to get over this aversion SOON!
Gender: Won't find out til next month! Note: we will be finding out. I have come to terms with the fact that I much rather enjoy when things go as planned, than surprises. F^%# surprises, I want my stuff to match.
Labor Signs: No
Symptoms: Feeling good overall. Minus the fatigue (i had to take a breather while shopping...gasp!) and night peeing and food weirdness, I can hardly tell I'm toting around a 3 inch medium shrimp.
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: HAPPY!
Looking forward to: Drs appointment 1/20 & Vacation!
Total weight gain: +2 to 3lbs total (wahoo! It seems to come & go everyday...but it just won't stick. I was getting worried there for a while, but I guess it's normal for a first pregnancy). Seems I opened my big mouth too soon last week.
Maternity clothes? ugh, yes! my mother has been dying to take me shopping, and i'm going to need some new swag for when i go here in 3 weeks...so, we made a trip to motherhood maternity where i purchased the beloved tummy sleeve. this is the best thing i've ever bought in my life! i also couldn't pass up a pair of $9 army green cargo capris from Kohl's and 2 {adorable} maxi skirts from Express. I figure elastic waistband is the way to go on vacation. Ya know, since I'm going for that, "effortlessly gorgeous while pregnant" look. Stretch marks? nope
Sleep: getting better
Best moment this week: the belly band or tummy sleeve, or whatever the hell it is. lord knows i don't even need it yet, but it's so comfortable folded down over my jeans, work pants, etc.
Miss Anything? Abs. Ok, what I used to call my "abs".
Movement: no
Food cravings: Fruit, chocolate, cheese, tortilla chips, mashed potatoes, some veggies. ALL meats kinda gross me out this week.
Anything making you queasy or sick: damn that chicken. there was an incredible sale on boneless, skinless breasts this week at Meijer, so i did buy a bag. i'm hoping to get over this aversion SOON!
Gender: Won't find out til next month! Note: we will be finding out. I have come to terms with the fact that I much rather enjoy when things go as planned, than surprises. F^%# surprises, I want my stuff to match.
Labor Signs: No
Symptoms: Feeling good overall. Minus the fatigue (i had to take a breather while shopping...gasp!) and night peeing and food weirdness, I can hardly tell I'm toting around a 3 inch medium shrimp.
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: HAPPY!
Looking forward to: Drs appointment 1/20 & Vacation!
January 06, 2012
Friday Confessions!
I recently found Leslie's blog and can't get over how freakin adorable she is! This week, I'm linking up with her and spewing all my deepest, darkest confessions. Ok, few are "deep" and none are "dark" but you get the idea.
1. I cannot gain weight. {OH MY EFFF yes i just said that}. I am doing everything in my power, including sneaking a lil bite every now and then directly from the cream cheese package and nothing is working. NOTHING. I'm starving all the time so I eat roughly every 1.5-2 hours, but it's not like it's going "through me" {if you catch my drift}. I don't know where it's going. I know, someday {soon} I will look back and lament ever saying such words, but I can't help but freak out that I'm 13 weeks pregnant with nothing to show for it, minus a weird, flabby looking little pooch that weights approx 0 lbs. Maybe it's the zero alcohol rule and loads of "good stuff" like fruits/veggies, because I never had this issue before. We're going to Mexico in three weeks and I would rather look pregnant than FAT in a two piece. Vain, so vain.
2. I secretly think it is awesome. Go you, baby S! We're headed out to dinner with friends tonight, where I will still fit into my "hot" clothes even after a whole bowl of chicken corn chowda, loaded redskins, and prime rib (med-well) with extra mushrooms. THEN, we're headed out with another couple tomorrow night for more steak. Bonus!
3. I went out and bought Raven's infamous tan in a can this week. Ugh. This is the first winter I've gone without subjecting myself to the deadly rays of an indoor tanning bed and I could just about die. If they would let preggos tan, I would be first in line. Probably why I have wrinkles at 23 {wait, make that 24...I did have another birthday last week, shoot}. Don't be fooled, I have way too many northern european ancestors to achieve any sort of remarkable color, but something is better than nothing unless I want to go around looking like Casper {no, not white...but rather, "see through"}. Because blue veins don't look good on anyone's face.
4. I had wine on NYE. And it was awesome. The entire 1/2 ounce of it. It left me absolutely drooling for more. Am I the only one? Are there any mammas out there who drank a glass of wine or a beer every once in a while and their baby ended up fine? Once upon a time, somebody told me "baby can't feel it if you can't" and I thought that was the absolute worst advice I've ever heard because once I start drinking, I can't tell the difference between what I'm feeling and what I'm not.
5. I have been a major slacker lately. So bad that Ross once said, and I quote "are you ever going to do anything around here again? Once that baby comes you'll just say you never have time to cook or clean, how will we live?" I can probably do better. I just don't feel like ittttttttt! Slack at home, slack at work. Shizzzzzz, even I know I'm being lazy. Need to work harder on that.
6. I just found out I've been paying twice (make that 4x the minimum, cuz I pay double on everything) on my car loan each month. How could I NOT notice that an extra $500 every month was disappearing?! I am religious about banking, saving, and how I spend my money. I feel like I've failed myself. I could have used it SO many other ways! Like, on my school debt--because that interest rate bends me over every.single.day.
7. It's 50 degrees and sunny in West Michigan today so all that snow we got last week is GONE. I am so sad.
Have a good weekend lovelies!
January 03, 2012
why I love crazy bitches {subtitled: Bachelor Recap}
i was so nervous for a new season of The Bachelor to begin...usually the hubs & I {yes, although he sometimes hates to admit it, he loves this garbage too} curl up with a big ol glass of red wine {or two or three} and watch it together, but with the way this week has gone {West Michigan got hammered with 15 inches of snow} he had to plow all night and my pregnant ass was left home alone sans big ol glass of red wine.
i was antsy for two reasons, 1. here are all these beautiful chicks parading around in fabulous sleeveless dresses while i'm growing a spare tire in 15 inches of snow and below zero windchills, and 2. i wasn't sure how i could watch The Bachelor without wine. lemon-water is a worse replacement than a bandaid on an amputation.
much to my satisfaction though, the season premier was so trashy and so scandalous that i couldn't help but feel awesome. whoever buys groceries for that house purchased one too many fifths of the goose. i couldn't believe how wasted those girls were, hilarous!
a rundown of the action with brief commentary from yours truly:
{photos from abc.com or google}
Holly from Kentucky wore a hat. {and just so you know Holly, Kentucky is not known for beautiful women and fast horses--but rather beautiful horses and women with poor taste in headware. Eliminated.}
Emily rapped about germs. {wicked smart AND funny, not bad}
Dianna blindfolds Ben and feeds him candy. {she couldn't think of anything better to do with that blindfold? probably why Ben eliminated her}
Lindzi rode in on a horse. {and got the first impression rose, wtf?}
Brittney brought her grandma to help schmooze him over with the "i love my family" card. {desperate}
i was so bummed to see Anna get eliminated. she played it coy and walked right past Ben during the introductions, which i thought was ballsy-doesn't every guy like the chase? oh wait, Ben just likes it easy.
Monica {girl is crazzyyyy} and Blakeley {gooorgeouss} canoodled on the couch
+ 
=their own lesbian Bachelorette spin off?and my personal fave: Jenna had a confrontation with lesbian Monica, and cried for the rest of the night because the lesbian didn't like her. {if you want to make friends, Jenna, join Celebrity Rehab or Extreme Home Makeover}. Ben gave her the last rose {can you say pity party?}
and to think, all these ho-bags are trying to win the heart of the beloved Bachelor Ben {who in real life is probably 9 times less cute in real life, and 1000 times more sweaty...am i the only person who notices this?}
who got dumped last season by that wackjob Ashley {soooo happy that she picked JT & that they're still going strong, although i think that he would have made for a better Bachelor this season.
dreamy!
can't wait til next week to see what kind of debauchery goes down between Monica & Jenna!
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