Screw you, SIJ!!!

If you didn't know, SIJ stands for sacroiliac joints, or that spot on your lower back where you have those two weird indents. Husband calls them my butt dimples. Please tell me I'm not the only one with these.

This week I'm telling my SIJ that they can F off. Maybe I brought it on myself with a week of nice walks outside, vacuuming the car, and putting a massive spring clean on the house, but the ol' SIJ started slacking the other day and it really ticked me off. I was almost positive that if I stopped walking, my torso would continue moving forward and dislocate right off my legs.

So, I took to the internet to self-diagnose this pesky disease that has literally stopped me in my tracks more than once this week. The result: PPP, or Posterior Pelvic Pain set off by those lovely pregnancy hormones. Fairly common it appears, which makes me feel better, because that means i'm clearly not the only one with the butt dimples.
My research google led me to This website where I found home advice on how to deal {since I haven't yet gone to the chiropractor for an accurate diagnosis--though that is on my to-do list for next week!}. For kicks, my comments are in red.

Posterior Pelvic Pain Home Advice

Here are some tips for expectant women with posterior pelvic pain..

Lying down

• Avoid lying on your back for long periods of time, particularly after the 19th week of your pregnancy. Seems this is the only way I wake up in the morning. With my arms spread up over my head. I have no idea how long I've been in that position, but it seems to have worked for me for the past 22-23 weeks or so. Sleeping on the stomach {what I'm accustomed to} is out of the question.
• Try lying on your side (preferably your left) with a pillow placed between your knees and another under your tummy. Check on the pillow between the knees {body pillow} but how the hell am I going to fit a pillow under my tummy without rolling off the bed?
• If your waist sags down into the bed {this implies there should always be a space there?}, try placing a small rolled up towel under your waist. I no longer have a waist. I cannot distinguish where waist begins or ends, except in the front where it is outlined by boobs and legs.

Turning over in bed

• To turn to your right while lying on your back, arch your lower back, tighten your pelvic floor muscles and lower abdominal muscles and bend both knees one by one.
• Turn your head to the right and take your left arm over to the right of your body. Hold onto the side of your bed if you can. Just like how grandma does it.
• To turn, pull with your left hand and take both knees over to the right so that you roll to the right. As soon as possible, bend your knees up as high as they will go – this helps to lock out your pelvis and lessen pain.
• Reverse this to turn to the left.  So many steps--I don't have 15 minutes to get out of bed.

Getting out of bed

• Roll onto your side {if we're following the rules, shouldn't we already be on our side?} with your knees bent up, move your feet over the edge of the bed and push yourself up sideways with your arms. I don't know about you, but I could barely get a set of pushups in when I was 15 lbs lighter.
• Reverse the process when you lie down.

Standing from a sitting position.

• Sit on the edge of the chair.
• Keeping your knees apart slightly and lean forwards till your head is directly over your knees {easier said than done}, keeping your back straight. {ditto}
• Stand up by pushing up with your arms, with your back straight and tummy tucked in {who are they kidding}. This helps to hold your pelvic joints in their most stable position and may reduce your pain significantly. You know what else would reduce my pain? Not being pregnant. Being 15 lbs lighter. Being able to move without a 12-step program.

-----------

All things aside, I think the world is telling me to get this checked out. About a week and a half ago {when all this falling apart started} I won a $250 gift certificate and hour long massage to a local chiropractic joint. Upon checking with the office I found out that they DO work on preggos and they WILL accept my insurance. #Winning. I've only been to the chiropractor once in high school where I was found to have two vertebre out of alignment and needed shock therapy for them to pop back in. Ever since, my back cracks on its own. Seriously. If I sit really still and breathe deeply, it'll snap crackle pop all the way down. Then there's the seated twisting I do to make it crack. Between the two, I may be addicted to aligning myself...it just feels so much better after. I do realize I'm probably screwing myself up for life. Flash forward 50 years and I'll be hunched to a mere 3.5 feet tall.

We'll see what doc has to say. How much work can they do on a pregnant lady? I'm thinking if they tied my feet to the ceiling fan I would feel better. Work them hips out a bit.