nice weekend!

We had such a big weekend over here! Nice weather, family time, and some much needed chill time with friends too. Some highlights:

1. i finally went to the chiropractor! what a godsend, really. no sooner did i hop up on the table with my big preggo pillow than the doc literally laughed at me for not coming in sooner. turns out, my right leg is an entire inch longer than my left. how did i come 24 years not knowing this? he wants to see me a few more times this week, then once a week until S comes to make sure my hips are aligned correctly {enough} for labor. holy macaroni i cannot wait for my appointment tonight! he did say it was a good thing i have naturally very loose joints, or else i would probably be hurting even more down the road.

2. some friends of ours, kate & kurt, came over for dinner on friday night to plan our other pals' bachelor party. kate was previously a birth center tech at the hospital we will be delivering at, so she was able to give me some nice pointers and "what to expects" while the guys were making out the guest list. it was so great catching up with them!

3. the boys started on the shop! my hubs & brother-in-law started "Schutter Bros Builders" back in 2007 {you know, at the worst time economically} and are finally building their own barn after years of storing their equipment at our parents', uncle jim's, or my favorite--our front yard in the "city". doesn't everyone have a kubota in the front yard? anyways--we've had a couple of great years, and are looking to expand the business. a few big jobs last year and this coming summer have given the guys the confidence to start investing in more tools-and of course a place to store them. we spent friday finishing up the site, and saturday the guys we already setting poles. by saturday night they had the perimeter up and the family marveled at their work over some yummy steaks out on the deck.

4. saturday night ended with a bonfire at our friend kyle's, where we all found out about john & katie's engagement! the way this spring has been going, we're going to have so many weddings this year! it was great to catch up with more of our pals--you know, since i don't really get out all that often anymore!

5. on sunday, ross & i took a little drive after church to go check out a truck he's been lusting over. since michael gets to have the barn on his property, ross gets a new truck. not a bad deal, i'd say! somehow we ended up at the baby superstore, where ross just about had a "panic attack" from all the preggos running around. we were going to register there, but i think it's much safer if i just do it myself online!

6. speaking of which, the schutters finally got the internet this weekend! i found out on friday if you ask the right questions on charter.com "chat" you can get a pretty good deal. smoking fast wireless for $39/mo installed the next day with 1/2 the installation fee? too good to be true. our Dish subscription is up next month, and i will need to have internet access for my company to allow me to work from home leading up to, and after S comes. helloooo online shopping, blogging, facebooking at all hours of the day and night :)  

7. lastly, we found some property we might be interested in {long term future}. it's way out off a dirt road in BFE, with few neighbors and lots of wildlife. there's plenty of room to grow and play, and it's even in our favorite elementary school district. ross keeps calling the place "God's country" and telling me we need to "move closer to home". the lot is literally 5-10 minutes down the road, ha! we meet with the realtor on wednesday to talk lot lines, road access, and all that good stuff.

ok one more...my boss is on vacation all week {hello, working from home!} and i'm headed to tennessee with my mama thurs-tues! can't wait for a little break!

sometimes i surprise myself

I am not one for waiting.

I suppose waiting and trust go together. And sometimes most times it takes a lot of me to trust.

Which makes the waiting even harder. Way harder.

Without going into too much detail, we got some unexpected results back from the doctor yesterday regarding my ultrasound on 2/29. His words were "usually, we call with any abnormal results, but we wanted to talk to you face to face because you don't need to freak out."

Abnormal? Freak out?

Turns out, S's kidney(s) are dilated. Meaning: they're bigger than they should be. They won't put a diagnosis on it until my next ultrasound. Normally, they wouldn't do another one after the 20 week anatomy scan, but they've advised me I'll need to come back at 28 weeks for a better ultrasound to check baby's kidneys and they'll go from there. They said this condition is fairly common, though I had never heard of it before. He did say everything else looked good {praise God}, but they will need to monitor us for any changes.

Of course my brain went blank and I didn't say anything except "Well, I guess I get to see her again--which will be nice."

Shut up. Hold the phone. Did those words really come out of my mouth? Who all of a sudden gave me power over my emotions to focus on the positive?

There was no freak out. No immediate tears. I just left and that was it.

My mind wandered all day, and then my mind wandered to google.

Don't google.

It's sort of like restaurant reviews. The only people who post on forums about their experiences are the ones who had the absolute best outcomes, or the absolute worst. No average joes in the center of the bell curve retell their experiences.

Well, I googled anyway because you can't tell me no.

It was then I realized I was losing control. No more google. No talking about it to anyone except family until we know more.

Whew. Calmness regained.

I want to note {if it wasn't evident already} that I don't have a lick of cool, collectedness to me. I am generally an impulsive, fly off the handle immediately, negative nancy. Just sayin.

But today I learned something. Worrying will get you no where. We could go to our next ultrasound and the problem will be completely resolved. And if not, she could be born and the problem could still go away easily without intervention. Then all that emotion and worrying will be wasted. I don't have time or energy for worrying.  I also learned that your outward actions don't need to mirror your inward emotions. My inward emotions are a nervous wreck. I don't want my little girl to hurt. To feel pain. My positive outward emotions surprised me today, it was something I didn't know I had in me. The doctor even asked if I ever had bad days, because it seemed like I was always happy. To this I responded, of course I'm happy--we're having a baby! There are people who would kill to be in my shoes, kidney issues and all. I am vowing to focus on the positive from here out, at least until we're in a position to know more.

I don't know how this happened either, but it reminds me a lot of my mom. We could be bleeding from the head, crying in hysterics, and my mom always managed to keep her cool. I never understood this when I was little, how could she be so calm? Didn't she care? Didn't she know the world was melting down?

So I'm not worrying.

We're just going to pray about it and take it easy. Stress will only make it worse {literally}.

Doesn't mean there wasn't a whole host of tears last night and this morning.

So while it seems we're stuck in the worst possible state--not knowing, not being able to plan or move ahead--we have to accept where we are. Do the best with the cards you're dealt.

 {I decided to blog about this today to share my experience, not the news we received. Since we honestly don't know any details at this time, please respect our privacy in this matter.}

how "IT" happened...

hubby & i decided to quit "not trying" way back in August. we thought it would be easy, i had been on the pill for like 7 years and was blessed with periods i could predict down to the minute. well, when you go off the pill mid-pack, it kind of screws things up. my bod went into freak out mode, and i didn't ovulate that month. when i missed my period, we thought that maybe i was pregnant, just days before my best friend's wedding/me & ross's anniversary. turns out, we weren't. oye.

so, being the high-strung control freak that i am...i did some research and found out that on a normal month, i probably ovulate later than what i thought. it made total sense. however, if i was ever going to get pregnant, i had to fix that. ha, like I have those powers. not.

but, having a degree in health science, i know a thing or two about the human bod-what it's capable of, and how modern science can manipulate it. now, i don't recommend trying this without your doctor's consent...but i decided i wanted to {naturally} balance out my hormones to improve my chances of conceiving. so, for the first week  or so of my next cycle {october}, i took a low dose of the chinese herb dong quai. now, i've used dong quai many times before {my mom has been an herbalife lady for years}, but i usually used it to calm down and balance out after a hectic day. when i read up on it, i realized dong quai also has characteristics that mimick estrogen in the body--which would make me capable to having a stronger/earlier ovulation.  ta daaa! that was the golden ticket for me.  

fast forward to early november when we tested positive for the third time in two weeks. yes, it took that many attempts to convince both myself and my doubting hubby that we indeed were pregnant and that the test was not "lying". {note: all other tests must have been lying, because there's no way i would have used up all my good judgement and went out linedancing with the gal pals if i really was pregnant? or would i?}

anyways...i made a big friggin hint about the {third} BFP here. 

this stunning little discovery was quickly followed by a doctor's appointment and a blood test. however, nobody told me that when you go to these appointments all paranoid that somebody might see you...you will actually run into everyone you know.

all good things confirmed, and they scheduled me an ultrasound for december 2nd. after drinking the required fifty gallons of water for the ultrasound, we were tucked into this dark little room with a tech who looksed no older than myself was wielding a giant lightsaber complete with its own condom. funny, i thought...what's she going to do with that thing? 

once i was enlightened of her intentions, the horror was permanently erased from my memory as i watched our little bean dancing on the screen. "shhh...." the tech said, "hear that?" it was my baby's heartbeat! 7.5 weeks old and our baby's heart was beating all on it's own at a steady 143 bpm. 

we couldn't handle it any longer. it was 8am and we needed to tell the entire world that we really were having a baby! but we waited {ok, I waited. Ross went back to the jobsite and told his workers all about it. that little stinker.}

i knew right away that i wanted to incorporate our big announcement into the holidays. after all, Christmas is all about preparing our hearts for the greatest gift, the One who was sent to us to give His life so that we may have ours. saturday morning, i found the most adorable little ornaments complete with the whole "i love grandma/grandpa" insignia at hobby lobby. i couldn't resist, so i got two sets. our families were putting up their trees this weekend and it was the perfect opportunity to share the news!

that's just what we did. saturday night, we first stopped over at his parents', and then my parents' and handed them the new ornaments for their trees. they were shocked! ok, not completely shocked. they knew we wanted to start a family right away, but they were so excited! you see, baby S is the first grandbaby for both sides. spoiled from the start.

that's IT! luckily, i started this blog just in time so i was able to document all the fun and exciting changes from the beginning. there will be lots more to share in the coming months, and your advice and comments are welcomed and appreciated! i promise not to go 100% cutesy mommyblogger on you...but you already know that.

Elvis can't wait to be a big brother!

 

Thankful, even after Thanksgiving

Bah, did you get enough turkey last week--cuz I sure did! Everyone always talks about being thankful for this and that during the holiday season, but my brain doesn't work that fast. I need some time. Time to chill out and really think about the things I'm thankful for. So I made a list:

1. Papi.  Despite his November (and now December) hairyness, he is just the greatest guy. He has been so sweet and helpful lately. Love it.

2. Family and friends {always}

3. Work. It's always around this time of year that I find myself thankful for having a great job, that's flexible and challenging. Breaks my heart for all the families out of work during the holidays. Thankfully, we will be adopting a family again this year. I love shopping, and even more when it's for someone else that I get to surprise!

4. Whitney Cummings and Chelsea Handler. You gotta watch this.  It's the only way I spend my Thursday nights.

5.  Working from HOME. Like today. You can't experience true bliss like this. I have time to make lunch (whatever I want. read: egg & cheese sandwich), watch TV (whatever I want), and work (all at the same time!). I needed this.

6. A new bed! It comes between 4:15 & 6:15 today to be exact. Our current love nest has been serving the Schutters since 1981. Yes, that's 30 years. My dad says Ross's twins are probably stuck to the mattress somewhere. Sickening.

7. No conflicting Christmas parties for 2011. It's like the stars have aligned.

8. A roof over my head, shoes on my feet, and food in the fridge. Lots and lots of food. Happy.

9. It's the weekend! Muzzleloading season starts today. Guess we know how I'll be spending the weekend. Wish me luck!

10. Is a secret.

Happy Friday :)